I’m Scott Perry, your solopreneur cornerman—a catalyst for independent business owners who want to build a fulfilling and prosperous business on their terms that funds and fits their...
1. Define things objectively. Take out the adjectives and adverbs. Don't make it personal.
2. Don't make value judgments. Try to name without name-calling. Avoid put-downs and dismissiveness.
3. Speak from your own experience. Use "I" statements. Don't conflate the anecdotal with the universal.
4. Listen. Witness and reflect what you hear ("Here's what I heard. Did I get that right?"). Ask for more information ("Is there anything else?").
5. Breathe. Don't speak from your emotional gut reactions or your justifying rationalizations. Be kind and speak from the heart.
I have worked with difficult people and people I don't "clique" with. I find focusing on the common goal, active listening and reflecting what I hear, and using questions and "I wonder if" statements to invite next steps to be helpful. In almost every case, the work got done and the relationship was improved.
I made a living as a musician for 30 years. Relationship skills are essential to keep a band together and performing well. I now bring these skills to training head coaches at Akimbo Workshops (created by Seth Godin), and my own coaching clients at Creative on Purpose.
It sounds like there is no mutual enrollment in the department's goals. This is not conducive to relationship building. One way this might be improved is to reward each member more generously for reaching department sales goals than individual goals. Another would be to support the sales team leader in building a collaborative culture. The first is a fast fix. the second a longer game. They can be done simultaneoously.
Yes. We focus on real/human/soft skills of communication, connection, collaboration, creativity, and courage. We also have clear boundaries and guardrails that promote and protect inclusion, diversity, and equity.
To adopt 1-min daily practices. For instance, find the good in others. There are only two steps. First, "catch" someone doing something kind or generous. Second, express your gratitude to them for the act of kindness or generosity you saw.
Not knowing what you don't know can lead to unhelpful and even unhealthy unintentional consequences. This can lead to confusion and frustration when someone is judged or punished for what they don't know they don't know.
I have achieved conscious competence as a musician (guitarist, singer, and bandleader) and coach (Akimbo Workshop head coach and trainer and my own practice).